In Proverbs, chapter fifteen, verse one, when facing anger, a soft answer will encourage reconciliation and peace, while harsh words stir up more anger and hostility. The subtle approach Abigail uses toward David in the Old Testament from First Samuel twenty-five, verses twenty-one to thirty-four, is an example of how someone turns away wrath from those in trouble. The situation here is that David is a King and Abigail a handmaid.
“And when Abigail saw David, she hasted… fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground,” as in verse twenty-three. “And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid,” as in verse twenty-four. Throughout the rest of the verses until verse thirty-four, Abigail’s presentation regarding the king was respectful and did not use harsh words, but was pleasant in order to gain favor. God sent Abigail to prevent David from doing a great injustice to all of Nabal’s men in verse thirty-four. However, her conduct within the King’s presence helps diffuse the plan he had for Nabal’s men.
In Colossians four, verse six, “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” A believer’s speech must be pleasant, winsome, kind, and gracious. It must be a language that results from the operation of the grace of God in our hearts and speaks the truth in love. A conversation that is appropriate for the moment, like Abigail’s towards David, is marked by purity and not corruption. However, it does not rule out stern words, when necessary, as when rebuking the false believers who are the enemies of the cross.